The Tortured Poets Department: Taylor Swift is beautifully vulnerable

The day has finally arrived–The Tortured Poets Department is here. Did anyone else wake up insanely early to listen to it all before work? Nothing could have prepared us for the emotional rollercoaster we were about to go on. Let’s talk all things TTPD before getting into our favourite tracks from the album.

Taylor announced The Tortured Poets Department earlier this year at the Grammy Awards, henceforth sending swifties into a frenzy. In amongst all the re-records, we were all so excited to hear some new music from Taylor. Plus, the Jack Antonoff and Aaron Dessner production guaranteed it was gonna be a banger of an album.

Taylor’s promo was fleeting, up until earlier this week when we got an influx of easter eggs and teasers of song lyrics. Swifties joked about this promo hinting that The Tortured Poets Department was just a fancy term for the insane asylum – and we were all ready to enter.

So, Taylor releases The Tortured Poets Department and soon after announces that Fortnight (feat. Post Malone) will be the first single with a music video coming out tonight at 8pm ET. Swifties pointed out that in this teaser for the video, she really resembles Clara Bow, who one of the songs on the album is about.

You look like Clara Bow in this light, remarkable
All your life, did you know you’d be picked like a rose?

Taylor Swift, Clara Bow

Now, picture all us Swifties blaring out the album as soon as it dropped and then, just two hours later, Taylor surprises us and drops an additional extra 15 songs in the second instalment: The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology. Much like the 2am version of Midnights, these additional songs really dive into extreme levels of honesty, vulnerability, and a little bit of humour.

While we eagerly await the music video for Fortnight and emotionally recover from The Anthology, let’s recap some of our favourite songs from the album, clever references, and what they are all about.

The Tortured Poets Department

This song really breaks down the premise of the album in this song. Although we know a lot of the tracks might be about Joe Alwyn, this one is supposedly about her fleeting situationship with Matty Healy. The pair briefly dated last year, but it quickly came to an end.

And who’s gonna hold you like me?
(Who’s gonna hold you? Who’s gonna hold you?)
And who’s gonna know you like me?
(Who’s gonna hold you?)
I laughed in your face and said
“You’re not Dylan Thomas, I’m not Patti Smith
This ain’t the Chelsea Hotel, we’re modern idiots”
And who’s gonna hold you like me?
(Who’s gonna hold you? Who’s gonna hold you?)

Taylor Swift, The Tortured Poets Department

It’s a beautiful, yet hilarious, song about the intense emotions you can feel for someone in such a short amount of time. There are references throughout to behaviours that Matty has publicly shown, i.e. smoking, breaking down, and generally being a questionable person.

Taylor says, when you leave, who’s going to hold you? Who else can decode you? No one.

Down Bad

In the fourth track, Down Bad, Swift perfectly encapsulates one of the first stages of a breakup. You feel so worn down and depressed, yet still clinging onto hope that you might get back together. The questions and the feelings of paralysis can be so overwhelming.

She refers to the feeling as ‘teenage petulance’, where you’re so frustrated you start acting like a child. Yes, pretty much like a temper tantrum.

Now I’m down bad, cryin’ at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
Fuck it if I can’t have him
I might just die, it would make no difference
Down bad, wakin’ up in blood
Starin’ at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it if I can’t have us
I might just not get up, I might stay

Taylor Swift, Down Bad

So Long, London

Is it really a Taylor album review if we don’t talk about track 5? For those who may not know, since her debut album in 2006, Taylor notoriously gives the saddest song the track 5 spot. From White Horse to my tears ricochet, you can always guarantee they’ll be gut wrenching.

Taylor’s long term ex-boyfriend, Joe, was British, so Taylor spent a lot of time in London throughout their relationship. She even wrote London Boy in 2019, singing about the places they’d go together throughout the city and how much she loved British men.

So, we knew it was so over for Joe when we saw the title of this track 5. Throughout this track, Taylor asks ‘how much sad did you think I had?’ It’s an incredible connotation, suggesting there was only so much heartbreak she could put up with.

And you say I abandoned the ship
But I was going down with it
My white-knuckle dyin’ grip
Holding tight to your quiet resentment

Taylor Swift, So Long, London

We’re going to be crying over this song for a very long time, so let’s move on.

Florida!!!

Fans of both Taylor and Florence + The Machine felt their souls leave their bodies when Taylor dropped the track list for The Tortured Poets Department. Yet nothing could’ve prepared us for the feature between two of the most popular and talented women in the music industry. The song references both Taylor’s and Florence’s respective discographies.

In “Florida!!!”, Taylor opens about how escaping to a new place is a coping mechanism. However, you can’t outrun your issues, and pushing them down will only cause more consequences, such as substance abuse.

It is believed that the track is named after Florida because the first Eras Tour dates after Taylor’s break-up announcement happened in the state.

Florida
Is one hell of a drug
Florida
Can I use you up?

Taylor Swift ft. Florence + The Machine, Florida!!!

loml

If there was a track I felt personally victimized by, it would be this one. If you’ve lived through the experience of thinking you’ve found the one, only for them to break your heart by leaving or slowly fading away, this track will be difficult to listen to. In “loml”, Taylor opens up about being heartbroken over the loss of the relationship. We find out at the end of the song that while the other person was considering Taylor as the love of their life, Taylor is left now with the loss of her life.

Our field of dreams engulfed in fire
Your arsons match your somber eyes
And I’ll still see it until I die
You’re the loss of my life

Taylor Swift, loml

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

Dare we say the best track on the album? Talk about a gut-wrenching song with some upbeat music. Let’s cast ourselves back to the start of The Eras Tour, when Taylor and Joe had just broken up. Taylor had hundreds of shows to perform and just had to carry on. She’s broken, shattered, and lifeless, but the crowd is cheering and she has to keep going.

‘Cause I’m a real tough kid
I can handle my shit
They said, “Babe, you gotta fake it ’til you make it” and I did
Lights, camera, bitch, smile
Even when you wanna die

Taylor Swift, I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

Imagine experiencing a horrible breakup and the media are on your case, while fans are cheering at you and you just have to keep doing your job. Anyone else would need at least 6 business weeks to rot before leaving the house again.

How Did It End?

How Did It End? dives into the speculation that the media are notorious for, constantly digging into her personal life and demanding answers for questions they have no right to ask. It’s a slightly more heartbreaking version of Blank Space, where Taylor also pokes fun at the media. People just continue to speculate and spread rumours, but she’s the only one who knows the full story.

It’s happening again
How did it end?
I can’t pretend like I understand
How did it end?

Taylor Swift, How Did It End?

None of us can ever really imagine what it’s like to go through a breakup and have the whole world speculating and pestering you for a full explanation. She owes you nothing! This song was just so soul crushing when we first listened to it, and it still is now.

Peter

This song takes us back to the love triangle in folklore and certainly feels like a sequel to cardigan. In cardigan, Taylor refers to the loss of a relationship as ‘Peter losing Wendy’ in reference to Peter Pan. So, when we saw this track, we just knew it would be a fan favourite.

Taylor talks about feelings of betrayal and the desperate plea for closure. She paints a picture of Wendy leaving Neverland, but desperately waiting at her window for Peter to return. He promised he would, except he just never comes back. He’s stuck, not growing up, as she matures, grows up, and eventually moves on.

But the woman who sits by the window
Has turned out the light

….

Said you were gonna grow up
Then you were gonna come find me
Words from the mouths of babes
Promises oceans deep
But never to keep

Taylor Swift, Peter

If anyone saw me crying to this song in the street, no you didn’t.

The Manuscript

The double-album ends with the track called “The Manuscript”, where Taylor reminisces on past relationships and how all that is left of them is the words she wrote. Writers can deeply relate to immortalizing our feelings through our songs, poetry, and anything in between. It is what helps us heal, but also what reminds us of what we lost. In the end, Taylor detaches herself from the story, because these songs are now ours too. There is a double meaning with how the story isn’t hers anymore because of the loss of the relationship that made her think back on all the other losses.

The only thing that’s left is the manuscript
One last souvenir from my trip to your shores
Now and then I reread the manuscript
But the story isn’t mine anymore

Taylor Swift, The Manuscript

Thank you for indulging our Taylor Swift moment. We’re going to get back to streaming now… and you should too! The Tortured Poets Department is available on Spotify and Apple Music.

Still need a little more Taylor Swift? Check out this article on all things The Eras Tour on Disney+